Saturday, December 5, 2020

Lying and Grief

Lies. Have I told more to myself or to others? Have I lied to protect myself or to protect others?

Lies. About how I’m doing. Lies. About what I need. Lies. About what I want. Lies. About everything I am.

Lies. Have I told them to hide my true grief? The grief that no one knows. Inexplicable grief that ties my soul in knots a sailor could not fathom.

Grief. From losing Greg. Grief. From losing laughter. Grief. From losses others would consider inconsequential.

I sit alone and wonder. Would I? Could I? Should I? Then wonder what I am wondering about. 

If I abandon these lies and grief can I emerge from their shadows?