Empty File Folders

I’ve worked off and on this past week cleaning out the filing cabinets in the office. Some things I have shredded, some I have trashed, and some I have kept. In the process, I have accumulated at least two hundred empty file folders. Perhaps twenty-five to thirty of these I have refilled with personal information.

As I leafed through the contents of these folders, I remembered the customers, their printing needs, and how Greg and I dealt with each. Most of our customers we really liked to deal with, but there were a few, that if we saw them coming, we headed out the back door, leaving our executive secretary to deal with them on her own. She would ask me later, “You saw them coming, didn’t you?”

I also remembered the long hours at work, the frequent fights Greg and I had because of stress, the lengthy drives made delivering work out-of-state, and many miles driven in-state when delivering printed items. Greg and I traveled roughly a million miles during our time together, rain and shine, on snowy roads and dry pavement, sometimes talking the entire way, other times nothing would be said except, “Where do you want to eat?”

We shared it all, endured it all, all the way to the end.

Today on my travels, the passenger seat was empty, as empty as those file folders I have boxed away. The memories of all the good times, the bad times, the happy times and the sad times are filed away in my heart, enclosed in folders made of love that will endure through the ages. I will dip into those folders many times in the years to come, remembering all that Greg and I shared, weeping over some memories, smiling and laughing at others.

No matter if I laugh or cry, Greg will never be in my life again. I feel his loss daily. I don’t think I will ever stop missing his presence, his love for me.

Will I ever add new file folders to my heart? Most likely not, as those folders of love in my heart have no expiration date, no room for updated versions.

File me under “Loving Greg.”