Long Weekend

Early Sunday evening

I’ve had a lonely and sad weekend. Even though I interacted with a few people this weekend – the gentleman who gave me a quote on tree trimming, the barkeep at Reno’s when I gave her my order, and my friend and her husband during lunch today – overall I have been sad and lonely.

I awoke that way Saturday morning. Even though the conversations I had with other people were pleasant, the sadness and loneliness didn’t subside. The heat hasn’t helped; it’s added crankiness.

Right now I’m sitting in a shaded pull-off on 704. Crickets and birds are making music, and a lone tree frog is blending his voice with their melodies. White clover in bloom scents the air. Daisies and blackberry blooms add splashes of white amid the fescue and other grasses. Red clover and wildflowers are scattered through the grass. Trees are fully leafed out, providing cooling shade.

A beautiful place. A peaceful place. God’s grace in abundance.

I came here hoping to elude the sadness and loneliness. God’s peace is with me but the sadness and loneliness linger. While they aren’t as wrenching as when grief waltzes in with torture on its mind, they are tiring, leaving me exhausted mentally and emotionally. 

I will return home and visit Greg’s grave as I have done both morning and evening several days this past week. I will talk to Greg and talk to God, watch the broom sedge sway in the slightest of breezes, and listen to the birds talk as they are settling into their nests for the night. 

Maybe a second dose of God’s creation will lift my spirits and the sadness and loneliness will be gone by morning.